'Pentecostal Churches Do Not Manufacture Husbands!

'Had I known' comes at last. Many ladies  are today crying 'had I known.' The mistake they made is that they thought that time waited for them, and so, they rejected one suitor after another, until the suitors stopped coming.

I remember my sister, Daa Comfort. Many suitors came one after another, until she  chose one Mbano man.

Their marriage was very peaceful; my father never went on any peace keeping mission in their house until death parted them a few years ago. The man did not exhibit his fighting skills on my sister. But the only thing they suffered is poverty.

Many ladies who would have been comfortably married with children missed the opportunities.

When a lady is young, she rejects many suitors, thinking that she had all the time in the world, not knowing that uwa bu ahia. You go to the market; buy whatever

 you want to buy, and go home. And another person's turn comes. William Shakespeare said that life is  stage; you act your part and exit.

While they are careless, rejecting poor and ugly suitors, many little girls grow up  and suddenly displace them in the marriage arena. "The beautiful ones are not yet born." Aye Kwei Armeh.

When it becomes increasingly difficult for them to marry, they hurriedly become born-again, and flood the pentecostal churches in search of husbands. Some become evangelists over night. If you have a calling to serve God, well and good,  if you gatecrash, bad.

Unfortunately, pentecostal churches do not manufacture husbands. Some years ago, a close friend asked me to accompany him to somewhere. I did not know that he was canvassing marriage market for his aged sister. 

When we reached the venue, it was only for me to behold his sister. I laughed in my mind, as I caught the joke. I no be mumu. Or onyeiberibe.

One day, a  sister visited me with her old friend; indirectly canvassing for a husband for her. I laughed in my mind.

A girl has a better chance of catching a husband, when she is young and fresh, but when wrinkles begin to appear on her face...

Ladies employ diverse tactics to lure men into marriage. The age-old tactics is to take in, and then persuade the man to do the needful.

This tactics is now moribund, as it does not work any more.

A teacher applied this trick to lure her police boyfriend to marry her, and ended up a single mother. She did not abort the child, who is now a university graduate, trained by his grandpa. Unfortunately, his mother died in a ghastly motor accident, as she went to Lagos to prepare her documents, so that she could travel out of the country.

The second tactics is to shower him with gifts, so that he succumbs easily. The lady in question could also sponsor the wedding so that the man does not spend even a dime.

Some men who marry free wives, pay the hard way; when your free wife dies, you first marry the dead wife, before burying her. That is Igbo custom. And if you did not pay the bride price, all the children don't belong to you. But the boys when they grow up, have no inheritance in their mother's home, hence they return to their fathers, or avoid any land matters. Many remain in the townships, to avoid trouble.

The third tactics is to use charm, or love potion on the man. This tactics is dangerous, as it could cause the death of the man.

 There was this lady, Mabel, a teacher--the way she captured a promising young man to be her husband is still a mystery till today.

Odiegwu. Wonders shall never end.

Nobody knows the kind of love potion she gave him, and where she obtained it. Maybe, from Akwa Ibom. Akwa Ibom women are great lovers, and they never fade. If Aunty Mabel were a fast lady, she could have made fortune from the business, selling very potent love potions to very desperate ladies. Remember millionaire Jaruma, and  her burantashi business. (She sells manpower enhancer). 

Many years ago, Mabel had a very good opportunity to get married, when many suitors sought her hand in marriage, but she mismanaged her opportunity.

When she lost her chance, she applied another dangerous tactics that comfortably fetched her a decent husband.

Mabel is supposed to be more than  fifteen years older than her husband. She is supposed to be her very elderly sister( Daa). Suddenly, she packed into  Aham's house, and like joke, the relationship clicked. Many were expecting drama, but none unfolded, to their dismay and utter surprise.

They continued living together, until one fine, eventful Saturday morning, they  were wedded by a hired freelance pastor.

Uwanka safe. No bride price was paid; neither the groom's father, nor the bride's father backed the illicit wedding. A good story for Nollywood.

Everyone just heard that Mabel and Aham had wedded. There were no cards to invite friends, and relations. There was on traditional marriage.  There was no entertainment. No souvenires were given out. Just like that. Case settled, and dismissed.

And they are still living together till today. What really happened? How did she capture him? What love potion did she use?

There was this man; I heard he retired as a police officer. Dee Smoky; he divorced his  second wife, who  bore up to four children for him, because she attempted to use a love potion on him, and she was caught. 

Love potions are very dangerous,

because they kill a man fast. Many women who attempted using love potions have ended up killing their husbands inadvertently. Recently, a court in Port Harcourt sentenced a woman to life jail, because the love potion she gave to a woman ended up killing her husband.

Asiri, or gossip, has it that if a woman washes her private part, and uses the water to cook for a man, he will love her forever. Asiri, or nto (gist), has it that if women, in a protest bare their buttocks for a man, the man dies.

There was this story about a very wealthy Ohuhu man; a man beat his dear dog, and he heard about it. He got the poor fellow beaten up, until he defecated on the floor. The angry man forced him at gunpoint to eat his feaces. These rich men and their pomposity. Poverty has one major advantage--it teaches humility.

When the women of the village heard the gist, they rose up en mass; went to the man's house, and bared their buttocks to his face.  Just like that the man died. Gone Too Soon". "Painful Exit."

Aham's parents did not support the marriage, but could not separate the couple. Maybe, the charm also affected the immediate family of the young man. The woman quickly bought a car for her husband, and they hesitantly adopted a boy, Caleb.

Up till today, the marriage is still waxing  strong. There has been no asiri about any quarrell. What kind of spell did Mabel use on Aham? 'This  kind of love I never see am.' Do you remember the song, and artist? Aham must be under a powerful spell. Tell it to the mountains.

Pastors should rally round and delivery this man.

Ogini na' eme?