A Happy Marriage Is Better Than A Successful Career

 Out of sight is really out of mind. Marriages crumble faster, when husbands and wives live apart. When two lovers live apart, the relationship becomes endangered. Are you in doubt; maybe, you need a proof. Don't be a doubting Thomas. After Jesus Christ rebuked him for his lack of faith, we never heard anything again about him as an apostle. Very sad.

I lost my girlfriend, Adeze, to distance ,or, if you like, to another guy, after she finished her exam, and travelled to Sokoto. She visited me once, and that was that. The relationship broke up. She never replied the letter I wrote her, because she had gotten a replacement. I forgot her, when I knew the game was over. But, I was hurt. Teddy  Pendergrass sang: "It's so good...so good...so good 

when you love somebody, and somebody loves you back."

I parted company with my sweet heart, Nkechi, after she went to further her studies. The  last time she visited me, we quarreled, and parted company. I believe she had gotten a replacement before she came to tempt me.

My school mate, Emma, parted with  his wife, Ekaete, because they were not living together. These lovebirds were deeply in love, and met in the campus. My friend was a year ahead of his girlfriend. After graduation, they got married a few years later, and divorced after a while, because they did not live together. The man lived in Ala Igbo, and his wife lived in Eko city. If one had joined the other, maybe, the marriage could have lasted a long time.

At times, people place their careers above family life. A happy marriage is better than a successful career. What shall it profit a man if he gains all the wealth, and loses martial bliss?

A relationship is stronger, when the duo live together. Distance creates a lot of problems in marriage. A popular Nollywood guy, whose wife lived in America, quickly got another lady pregnant, and that was how the first marriage hit the rocks.

Ernest Hemingway, the great American author, was living with his wife, when a female fan who always came to praise and admire him, became his wife. Just imagine. Just like that. 

When you live close to a lady, it is easy to develop a relationship. I lived with a colleague in the same compound, and we  developed a very strong relationship. Her fiance was quickly displaced, and their relationship ended with time.

A lady is hard to get, when she lives far away. I read a story about a guy, who bought a new mattress, and a lady innocently came to test the mattress, and before you knew it, the fast guy used to the opportunity to ravish her and rest is now story.

A man was traveling abroad, and handed his girlfriend over to his friend; by the time he had returned, his friend had  taken over.  Just like that. Very simple.

A bird at hand is more than ten in the bush. If your wife works in Sokoto, you must travel to Sokoto to visit her. Constant traveling becomes a problem. If she has some kids, it becomes a problem  for her traveling with those kids always.

Suspicion could easily set in, coupled with quarelling and frustration.

When Clearance Carter sang "Loneliness and Temptation," he knew what experience had taught him--he was caught making love to another man's wife. The Bible says, "it is not good for the man to be alone."( Genesis 2:18a). If you are in Kaduna, and your wife is in Port Harcourt, you are not obeying  the Bible. Though you are married, you are still "alone".

The best option is for one to leave his job, and join his wife. Or, vice versa. If there is genuine love and understanding, it is easy for one to quit his job. 

Some Yoruba people resigned their jobs, instead of going over to Abuja to work, after Abuja became the federal capital. And in this way, a lot of marriages were saved.

A very sophisticated lady becomes very cheap, if she is very close to you. When I taught in the primary school, a male colleague narrated to us how he succeeded in having his way. A very sophisticated married lady visited him, and he grabbed the opportunity to have his way.

As soon as Ngozi wedded her heartthrob, and finished her honeymoon with her sweetheart, she left for her station. She visited her husband as often as she could. On the other hand,  her husband equally visited her with great enthusiasm and dedication.

Soon, the visits began to diminish on both sides. When Ngozi became pregnant, her husband vowed he was not responsible.

Quarelling began immediately,and continued until after the birth of the baby boy. The baby did not resemble his father. Both members of the extended families were involved, and everything was done to bring peace, but to no avail. A DNA test proved that the baby was not fathered by Ngozi's husband. Soon, the church excommunicated Ngozi from the church for adultery.

Ngozi and Uchenna had a prolonged courtship before their wedding. Every one knew about the duo, and their love affair.

One day, Ngozi attended the child dedication of her colleague in the office. She drank to a stupor, and a male colleague decided to give her a drop. One thing led to another, and her colleague slept with her that night. He satisfied her so much, that she invited him to keep coming, and prepared him a very special dish each night. For one complete week, they slept together, and he did every exploration imaginable. When she became pregnant, she was afraid her husband would not accept the pregnancy. 

The man had no place in his heart to forgive her, and so, they lived apart, until they decided to go their separate ways.

Ngozi packed her belongings and went to live with the father of her son, but she was vehemently resisted by the man and his wife. After one week of none-stop fight, there was a truce, and she became the second wife of the man.

Ngozi became stronger and more dominaring than the first wife. She used charm, influence and money to displace the first wife. Soon, Ngozi became pregnant again for her husband. The first wife left in anger, and protest, and Ngozi took over completely.